The Collapse of Manhood
As I sit down to write this, I am extremely tempted to begin with a list of caveats! However, I have decided not to give in to this temptation because the truth is, some people are going to be upset by what I have to say no matter what. So why bother trying to start by making excuses. Instead, I’m going to jump into this subject by telling you about an experience I had serving as a local pastor. I spent 17 years in the Marine Corps, and the experience I gained from my time in service often translated to illustrations used in order to help get across certain truths found within the word of God. That was until a senior pastor approached me about how he found my military illustrations to be too aggressive and could possibly be offensive to women and others in the congregation. I happened to be subordinate to this other pastor, and therefore rather than raise too much of a stink, I submitted and adjusted as best I could!
What I didn't see then that I can see clearly now, is that this way of thinking was actually only a symptom of a much bigger problem. We live in a world today that has come to see masculinity as an evil in and of itself, specifically any kind of aggression associated with it. This manner of thinking has infiltrated the church so much so that we have made our churches quite comfortable places for our women, and children, while at the same time making them almost unbearable for our men. Talk of war and battle have now been reduced to comments on struggles and a lack of love! Even the art of debate is often treated as brutish, after all, what good is it to win an argument if the person doesn't feel loved while you're doing it! Our churches have focused on making our men soft, wanting them to develop those much less aggressive attributes of Jesus, such as meekness and patience.
Well, what's wrong with meekness and patience? Absolutely nothing of course, we do see those very qualities in our Savior and by the Holy Spirit we should seek to develop them. But not at the cost of our very masculinity. God also made men to protect, and to provide, and along with those very necessary roles, He has gifted us with testosterone that yes, in fact does cause us to be a bit more aggressive! The fact that we are living in a culture that desperately wishes to ignore this fact, that men are different, isn't an excuse for the church to also act the same way. Instead, the church should be championing these differences, and teaching our boys how to use that which the world wants to now call evil, for good.
There is most definitely more to masculinity than testosterone and aggression, so please don't hear me say that the two are one in the same. But what we cannot do is attempt to separate it from what it means to be masculine. Boys fight, they argue, they compete and often love to get dirty. Now perhaps at different levels, but nevertheless this is part of who we are and how God made us. More time must be spent teaching men how to honor and glorify God with all of how He has made us, rather than attempting to destroy it or act like it doesn't exist. I do not make my case strictly from the place of science of course, but primarily I have come to this understanding from looking at my Savior Himself and of course reading His word.
Jesus should be our example for masculinity, not the culture! In Jesus we find One who wasn't afraid to be aggressive. Whether flipping tables, making fun of or rebuking the religious leaders, or protecting the vulnerable, Jesus very much reflected much of what today would get a person canceled. He is the perfect man, and as such maintained the perfect balance of all manly qualities. If more time was spent in churches looking at all of whom Jesus is, I am quite sure that church itself would be a much more comfortable place for godly men. As a man I enjoy a good argument, it drives my wife crazy, but Jesus had plenty of those and He welcomed all challengers! As a Christian man I am called to the same and called to do it all for the glory of God, seeking to honor Him in all of my interactions.
As we read the scriptures one doesn't need to go far before we find ourselves knee deep in talk of war, and God using masculine men to bring about His purpose. All of these men were flawed, but they were men. Some were more aggressive than others, Moses allowed his aggression to get the best of him on more than one occasion, David committed sexual sin and murder, but there isn't a one of them that didn't also have to be willing to fight and stand up for Truth. When we get to the New Testament, what we find is an illustration comparing the Christian life to war, and in this war we are told we even have weapons, look at that. My point is this, the aggressiveness that was given to us as men, is to serve a purpose and God has used it and even given us a perfect example in Jesus. As for me this means, I must always pick my battles carefully, but pick them I must, and if you are a man, then so do you!
Instead, what we often see in churches today is men being belittled for being men. Our churches are decorated by women and for women (just a pet peeve of mine!), while the teaching taking place within spends a lot of time teaching men how to be softer, more loving, more kind, more polite and so on. It's exactly this type of softness that has put the church in such a weak position today. Men are taught its sinful to stand up for what you believe in, it's sinful to assert the truthfulness of scripture and to command people to repent and believe the gospel. When all the teaching is done, many within the church believe that the most Christian thing one can do in today's culture is love them by smiling and keeping from offending anyone.
When men are afraid of speaking the way the bible speaks, there is a serious problem in the church! This is where we find ourselves though today. Men are afraid of even acknowledging the differences between men and women for the glory of God. These same men are the ones that insist on keeping churches closed because they don't want to upset their neighbors, they don't want to focus on the sinfulness of most of today's hot button political issues which are also moral issues, such as: abortion, homosexuality, transgenderism, socialism, and the lie of present racial injustice! All of which need to be repented of. Until we have men in the pulpits unafraid to speak boldly and to walk out on to the field of battle prepared to take direct fire, the church will continue to be soft, and to play its part in our culture’s destruction.
It's time for men in the church to wake up and start acting like men! (That is almost a verbatim quote from scripture, 1 Cor. 16) It's time for pastors to teach their men what it means to be a man and point them in the direction of their savior. We must teach the culture what it means to be a man, what godly masculinity looks like and reclaim that which they have distorted and attempted to destroy. The collapse of manhood may have begun but because this is Gods world, it will never completely collapse. It is our responsibility to set things back on track. Men; be men, women; be women, and let us all look to God alone, as the one who holds it all together!